i swear i'm going through menopause

i've been having hot flashes all day long.
i'm DYING of heat in this house.

things are looking up.. sort of

so, i did really good on my isats! and my super awesome couselor saw that i got dropped from english because of my being behind a week, but the isat block situation added another week, and she reset my class so i am not as behind as i would have been AAND i got to turn in two assignments i wouldn't have been able to before. one of which was a summary on king arthur that made me and hailey stay up super late for a week and read a bunch and was the most stressful thing i've ever done, that i cried super hard when i found out i couldn't turn it in after rushing to get it in before midnight. but, i now was able to turn it in thanks to my counselor (once again)! but, i'm still quite behind in that class and its stressing me out and bringing me back to when i would miss weeks of school and be super behind, and that feeling is the worst in the world to me.

i've also been doing better at eating but need to work out! yell at me to work out! haha. i need to be pushed to do it. i have no self-motivation.

oh and i sliced my finger deep and through my fingernail while cutting LETTUCE of all things. so i am typing without my left pointer finger. haha.

well, i'm off to bed so i can wake up early to get a jumpstart on all the math i have to do tomorrow!

this blog sucked, but i feel good being able to type it all out. so, sorry for another shitty blog and such. I LOVE YOU!

xoxo

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

i got off the bandwagon and i am so pissed off. i coulda been at my goal by now or halfway there, but i'm slowly but surely back onto said bandwagon.

oh, and i have to take my ISATS tomorrow at a Sylvan Learning center.

and i just started my period yesterday.

and i can't do any of my assignments in any of my classes until the ISATS are done.

and, i'm already super behind in english, and am now super behind in math and physical science as well.

and i feel fat, i have super bad cramps, i'm hungry all day long BECAUSE its that time of month. life is kinda good and bad right now.

GOOD
-my face is clearing up and staying relatively clear
-there's lots of fruits in my house to snack on
-LOST and Glee are on tonight!
-we have pepper jack cheese and triscuit thin crisps (best snack combo EVER)
-turkey bacon. yum.
-it's my little brother's baseball season! :)
-it's spring and warming up
-my dog, eevee, is the worlds best dog ever
-i feel pretty from the waist up (hahaa)

BAD
-i feel fat from the waist down and my arms
-my bike is not fixed so i cannot ride it
-i'm on my period, have super bad cramps and don't want to work out
-i got off the eating well bandwagon, and i was doing SO FUCKING GOOD
-my stomach hurts way worse when i'm on my period in the morning, so morning's suck
-my sister is being extra touchy, but i guess i know how to push her buttons perfectly. so it's the two of us tango-ing.
-i have to take ISATS tomorrow
-i am VERY behind in my school

that is all for now, sorry to bore you.

i feel indifferent

i just wanna be me.

bleh

today was just one of those days. i'm exhausted, mentally and physically, and just don't feel up to anything. my school is stressing me out because it's online and you do a semesters worth in nine weeks, so you have more assignments within a shorter amount of time. It's just tough stuff, man. I've also been getting super bad headaches every morning when i wake up and i feel just bleh and tired all the time. i also keep getting really annoyed with everything and everyone, even if they do just the littlest things. i'm just stressed and crazy and a teenage girl. so deal, homes.

thought i should let it out and rant about it a little. so hurr you go.

tbh,

to be perfectly honest, i believe that Jesus was a bisexual.

starting tomorrow, Feb 22, 2010

i will be working out every Monday through Friday, occasionally skipping Thursdays if i feel too sore or am too busy. i will also be posting a blog either every day or every Friday wrapping up each days troubles and rewards. i don't care if you read it or not, it's mainly for me to just keep track of everything and let out all my working out feelings without annoying or boring my family. hopefully it'll inspire you guys or be the reverse and you guys inspire me. i do need as much motivation as possible, though, because i'm not very good at motivating myself. i hope you guys enjoy this trek to get fit/be able to sport a two piece with confidence by this summer.

xoxo